“Hey there toilet, whatcha got cookin’?”
“Erm, hey… I’m not cooking anything, I’m a toilet. In fact it wouldn’t make much sense if I was equipped with some form of cooking apparatus as I’m the place where people come to do their business and not to cook a full English breakfast. I can imagine a few scars caused by my cooking ability malfunctioning, plus I’m guessing that most people wouldn’t want to eat food that had literally come from a toilet. I’m pretty hygienic, but not THAT hygienic”
“Yes? Weird disembodied voice?”
“To be fair I could probably say this is weird too, given that toilets don’t generally speak…”
“ I’m a special toilet, even if I’m not equipped with all those fancy features that the Kohler Numi has. That guy thinks he’s top dog because he can play music, but I can hum the national anthem if anybody would care to ask me!”
“Yeah… anyway, it was simply an expression. I didn’t literally mean you were cooking something, have you never heard the Johnny Cash song?”
“Oh. Who is this Johnny Cash you speak of? He’s not a new shower is he? I’ve had it up to here with showers; we never seem to get along”
“You know what, forget it. What’s up?”
“Oh nothing, I’m in a good mood actually!”
“Well, this esteemed bathrooms blog that is considered one of the best bathroom blogs on the Internet – at least that’s what they told me to say – has picked me as today’s Product Pick! It’s like the Oscar’s of the bathroom world apparently!”
“Right, isn’t it just a way to highlight a product they want to sell rather than an award?”
“No, shush! You have to give me this, I’ve been sitting here for ages now and I need a bit of recognition!”
“Ok, you’re an excellent toilet and you know it”
“Why thank you, that’s really made my day!”
Talking to toilets eh? It’s always a bit of a struggle. He’s right to be pleased with his so-called ‘award’ though. His name is the Kohler Panache Back to Wall Toilet, and he’s a glorious white dexterous construction that fits right in against the wall in your bathroom. Thanks to the space saving design you’ll have more room to play with, although try to keep the shower away from him as apparently he’s not all that fond. You’ve also got the added bonus of a standard or soft close toilet seat, and he’ll really thank you if you opt for the soft close option instead.
Any last words, Mr. Toilet?
“I’d like to thank my friends, family, my producer, my…”
Oh look at that we’ve run out of time! Oh well! You can view the toilet through this link but try not to massage his ego too much.